red shoes

Back in the day, when I blogged about life I used to write "observations and revelations". It was an easy way to share thoughts, random or otherwise. In the spirit of Red Shoes I'm going to now call them "knots and loose ends" or "heels and flats" or something creative like that. So I give you the first edition of Knots and Loose Ends/ Heels and Flats: Thanksgiving Edition. A couple days before Thanksgiving Mom's oncologist gave her permission to stop taking the oral chemo in anticipation of a chemo transfusion this week. Don't have to tell her twice. She wasn't dizzy, she had energy, she was Mom. It was wonderful. If you haven't watched your husband and brother lower a turkey, zip tied to a broom stick, into a fryer, you haven't lived. If you haven't eaten the skin off a freshly fried turkey, you also haven't lived. I was not vegan this weekend. I used up my 10% of my 90/10 rule for the month. Our family has such ...

I started decorating. Not my usual MO but I love how the house feels with Christmas decorations up. I love the warmth of the lights. I love the peaceful feeling of the season. Plus it's giving me something to focus some energy on. Cause I'm a pro at being vegan now, obviously.  So I have a mantle conflicted. On one side it says "gobble" and on the other, there's a silver metal Christmas tree. Whatever. So much of my Christmas stuff has Mom stamped all over it. I have these carolers, it's a little boy and a little girl. They're probably almost as old as I am. And they are holding sheet music, singing (they don't actually make noise). They're my favorite. They're Mom's favorite. All of my garland came from Mom. My nutcrackers came from her. Dining room table centerpiece, hers. I haven't gotten out the ornaments yet but I know what's in those boxes. Years of ornaments from Mom. Photo frame ornaments from Mom. Then I looked around t...

Yesterday was wonderfully, magnificently, amazingly, magically, fabulously, normal. So normal I cry now thinking about it. It was so normal Mom and Dad came and watched Cannon try to learn to play lacrosse and then checked out Emerson's dance moves on the soccer field. And then we ate delicious Mediterranean food from this local place with so many options for us newbie vegans, it's amazing. Dad played War with Emer and Finn threw her food to the dog. We shared a bottle of good wine. We watched the opening sketch of SNL. Hurricane Finley threw her sippy and shattered my wine glass on the brand new couch. It was that kind of normal. The normal that lets you forget that she's sick. It's those times I cherish. I cherish all the times actually. But those times, where we can be us and be together and keep the elephant in the other room for a few minutes or more, those warm my soul. So, thanks Yesterday. I really appreciate it.